Reflecting

I hate it when I have those moments when I get so overwhelmed with daily life that I forget to take time to love the sweet little moments, or realize that I've been taking things for granted. I should've really learned my lesson on taking things for granted when my mom died. I thought she'd be there until she was old and gray AND wrinkled (haha sorry mom). Is it so sad that she didn't even get to see her 50th birthday, her daughter have 2 more kids, her youngest go to Prom, her first real boyfriend, and soon her high school graduation. Yes it is. But then not only did I take her for granted, but I still take everyone for granted. I feel like I will always have them around. In January Jay's mom died... 44 years old. She didn't get to see 45! What does that say for me? When am I going to die? Will I get to see my kids have kids? It just honestly has me worried.

But still today I am sitting here realizing that I take everyone for granted STILL. In my mind everyday is my dad and sister and my father-in-law. I pray daily for them to live LONG not just happy lives, but LONG lives. I worry so much about my dad. I worry about his drinking, I worry about his cholesterol, I worry about his stress and whether he's going to be here and for how long? Will I get a call that somethings happened? How will my sister take it?

I sometimes wonder if we did the right thing moving down here... of course I will miss them terribly, but I'm thinking about my kids... and not to mention I hate the snow. Honestly, after school is over and once I've gotten a good paying job I want to be able to take at least one weekend every month to fly up and visit just because I know how precious family is and my family, whether they know it or not, they mean the world to me AND THEN SOME.